Disaboom, a site that offers disabled people resources and inspiration, commissioned a study by Kelton Research, that found most people would rather be dead than seriously disabled. As the daughter of a man who could not walk unaided for the majority of his life (a 100% disabled veteran); Names4things believes these life or death choices should be made by those most affected by the better dead than bed. In other words, don’t try this at home, kids! For example, Names4things father did just fine, without that walking business. This is not the case for some listed below. And by not doing well, Names4things means us, not them. And just in case the Department of Homeland Security is enjoying this chickenshit blog; the following is satire.
Dick Cheney: This guy should definitely choose death over life. After all; someone who shoots his best ‘friend’ in the face, makes his shot friend apologize on national television, and still walks around with a heart that only beats when it is mechanically impelled to do so, is a shoo-in for a long overdue dirt nap. Perhaps an aforementioned ‘friend’ could enable Cheney’s exit, but Names4things won’t name names in this case. But she would definitely understand.
George W. Bush: Having thousands of dead bodies crowding his questionable soul, he’d be a definite candidate for choosing deadity. To know that you are responsible for so much misery in the world would drive anyone with a brain to self-extinction. But he’s a two-fer, since he was ‘born’ bereft of that all-too-vital organ which allows us to think, and that other one that makes you feel bad when you’re wrong.
Clarence Thomas: The only black Supreme Court Justice and actual beneficiary of Affirmative Action, is remarkably undead, despite the tons of hypocrisy that should be crushing him. Why aren’t his bones dust? Why this is not so, is beyond Names4things’ comprehension, and she likes physics. Perhaps physics doesn’t like her, a painful realization— but not horribly disabling.
All Billionaires, except for those who give it all away: If you suffer from billionairese, you’re taking so much more than your share, you should probably opt out of the living thing. The horrific side effects of this disease include the unfounded belief that you are capable of ruling the world, and of course, anal leakage, which millions are eager to sop up with their mouths. Ewww to those of you willing to do this, and not only do you know who you are, we do too. We’ve already seen the devastation the billionaire mayor of New York has wreaked upon its inhabitants, and it is a slow and painful death he seems to want from us un-rich. Save some quality of life for others, you stingy billionaires, and get outta here. Way outta here.
Erik Prince: Princess Erik spent part of his inherited wealth on developing Blackwater, a company that sells death. American has funded this company with over a billion dollars, and since they are “private”, we have no way of knowing how much killity they contribute to the world. That they are immune from prosecution, makes free want to retire the word. We just know that there are no civilians in Blackwater’s world– there are only targets. Princess’ inherited wealth means he was not compelled by the making of money to develop Blackwater. He simply really likes to murder. Buh-bye Princess. Although it might not be a comfort to you, lots of civilians would not be dead, if you were.
Rupert Murdoch: Owner of all media, including Focks News and the Wall Street Journal; by the time you read this, he will likely own you as well. Another victim of the deadly billionairese, his loss would be mourned by, um, no one of any consequence whatsoever. Just do it, Rupe. Just think of all the fake stories about you your ‘media’ could generate!
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