Earlier today, a man climbed the exterior of the new NY Times building, all the way to the top. He then unfurled a banner that said, ‘Global warming has killed more people than 9/11 every week’. That was before this photograph was taken of him from inside the building.
All right then. I wonder if someone will break it to him that more people die every day, of all kinds of things, that have little or nothing to do with 9/11. But having survived that event, I hear him. It was bad. And the global warming is no good, either, no matter what we’re told by the current CEOs.
Then, hours later, another guy climbs the outside of the building, and no one is quite sure why he is doing this. He doesn’t seem to have a banner, and he’s looking pretty tired, around the 32nd floor.
The first guy, a Frenchman, is supposedly a professional climber. Those French people are really unsurpassed as to what constitutes ‘professional’, but then, I’m just jealous. However, the new guy is, uh, maybe not. He rests quite a bit, and sometimes flexes his muscles. This was for effect, I’m sure, and it worked for me. I hear him. He’s strong.
Names4things was really hoping they’d both survive, and couldn’t help but admire the balls (metaphorically) on the both of them. And even though N4T is normally against medicating eccentrics, both these guys seem like suitable candidates, should they attempt another trip up a skyscraper, outdoors, and without a resting place or rapelling gear. But that’s just common sense, which N4t is admittedly bereft of on occasion, as well.
In a similar vein, over the years, I have tried to imagine how the day begins for those gabby souls (nearly always male) who set up a crate to stand on, pignose speakers, a microphone, and some grammatically suspect placards on street corners. They then spend the day saying kinda shitty things to just about everyone who passes them. Stranger still, the majority of them claim to be from the Lost Tribes of Israel. I’m believing about a third of that description, but far be it for me to define your identity for you. Still, these devotees seem to have a lot of inside information about God, which coincides with how fucked up you are, just by taking a good look at you. I am not a member of the Looks Department, but these guys have an admittedly strong lock on it. Virtually no one escapes their scrutiny, and it takes but a moment for their summing up of you. Makeup? whore! Mixed race? devil! White? double dog devil! They are really very good at summing you up, and with but a moment’s assessment.
These people are almost fascinating. I used to wonder if they ate a good breakfast first, and if they had family members who tried to talk them out of it. Or even more interesting, if their families helped them get ready to go to ‘work’.
“Got your pignose and your mic, honey? Got your crate? Don’t forget your sign! Okay, I’ll see you tonight!”
In contrast to the Lost Tribes of Israel types, I’m not able to even imagine what this morning was for the climbers. I understand the NY Times part. They aren’t trekking vertically over 50 stories, without some important shit to impart to the rest of us.
But I was really hoping they both made it to the top safely. The first one (9/11 and global warming) did, and was compelled to avail himself of the free taxi to the free hotel. The second one (or ‘copycat’ as some spokesmodel declared), also made it, collapsing exhausted into the arms of the popo waiting for him at the top. He is probably enjoying the same accommodations of the first climber, and it’s rumored that his message regarded malaria.
God bless ‘em. They kind of made my day, not just for surviving, but believing. Names is all about believing, and showing all of us that you can make it to the top of the New York Times, so long as you’re willing to bet your life on it. I also understand that getting by security can be a real bitch, so once again, the more you think about it, the greater sense it makes. if not, it was hella entertaining. Thanks, guys!
